Morally Gray

What/Who is GOD ?
GOD is but an abstraction of the human mind …….. to each individual a sum total of his most cherished ideals and values …… attainment of which shall be the sole purpose of life, the ideals and values of course not being , as one would think relative to the standards of the society but absolute to each individual ……..

This is a thought that came to my mind one day as I sat contemplating as to what is it that can classify deeds and actions into good and bad from a completely objective point of view ???? Well the answer that struck me was —- nothing. After all, whenever you say something is good or otherwise you use nothing but your past experience for making the judgment. One train of thoughts led to another and this is what I came to conclude ( what I have written above ). And you know what the good thing about it is ( for those who have lost all hope for mankind ) —- each and every one of is a religious man , each a believer 😛 !!!! But then if I look at it from another point of view this definition of mine paints a very scary picture of the world ……… that none of us ever does wrong …. If Osama brings down the world trade center, he is trying to be like his God, and if Bush decides to attack Iraq to take control of its oil deposits, he too his trying to be like his GOD.

This perspective really helped me dispel a number of doubts that had been pressing down on me for a couple of days now …….. as to why the so called ‘evil people’ succeed so much at what they do and the so called ‘good people’ never seem to achieve what they want despite being GOOD ???!!! Because distinction between what right and what’s wrong is a relative concept, yet so firmly drilled into our consciousness right from our childhood through the epic stories of Ramayana and Mahabharta and the Panchtantra that our very soul rattles if such a thing is said aloud anywhere. The question one must ponder upon is whether this is right or not ( sounds contradictory right 😀 after reading this bibble babble above ) ?

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P.S. (For the reader) — This is the first time that I have delved into philosophy on my blog. And therefore I would really love an open minded and stimulating discussion on this post through the comments. Could be I am very wrong in what I have written above, and am open to new/fresh perspectives on the same.

Pandemonium

Now before you read this, just want to let you know that this is not a “stand-alone” poem but first of a series that I have planned. Hope you like it….. Let me know your thoughts so that the next parts I can improve upon. Here it goes…….. My maiden poem on my blog :

Alone with not a soul in sight
My feet burn from the scorching heat of the desert
My heart holds on to hope of salvation oh so tight
Though my head tells me I will not make it through this alive

Now Cold comes over the entire place
My body turns numb and death mocks me as the winds deal out a chilling blow
I pray to God — let this be short and quick
But death is having the time of “its life” and wants to take it real slow

Suddenly it grows Dark. Where am I? I grow very afraid
I hear anguished voices nearby, they speak of my crimes and mistakes
I hear cries of people whom I have hurt or betrayed
In my mind flash all the failures of my life and the many bad days

Then it strikes me in a flash, I am in Hell
And again goes the cycle – hot,cold,dark,voices
Each time my pain and suffering increase
As I realize what has brought me here — my own choices !!!

I awake from my dream drenched in sweat
Was this an omen? A prophecy of what lies ahead?
Or perhaps a reminder to set right broken things in life
Pandemonium has erupted in my mind……….

Taglines and beyond ….

ADVISORY  : The following post is to be taken in a light spirit. The author has no intention of offending  the feeling of anyone and has written this for sheer purpose of sharing his experience with people.

Some of the supposed brightest minds in our batch, when it comes to vocabulary and command of language, gathered a few days back in come up with a tag line for our annual college fest FELICITY …….. a tag line that captures this years’ theme – Music. Now if you’ve been reading carefully, the first thing you will no doubt want to ask me is why I use the word “supposed” ? Well once I am through with this post and you have had a glimpse into the kind of tag lines that flew out of the imagination of these bright minds …. well lets just leave it that for now. (Before any of these bright minds decide to grill me on the issue,I confess I was one amongst them ).

The discussion began with some decent ideas floating around like —

1. Felicity 2k10 —- ELICIT the fun within

2. Felicity 2k10 —- Celebration Amplified

3. Felicity 2k10 —- Stirking a new note

4. Felicity 2k10 —- Symphonies of Celebrations

The first one (which was the crowd favourite at that point)was vetoed by Bhatt and her authority on word usage is unquestionable, so we started debating on which else could go with this year’s felicity. 10 minutes into this exercise, several humorous variants began to spring up. After being subject to several modifications at the hands of our creative minds here are a few samples —

1. Felicity 2k10 —- Come, Celebrate, Go

2. Felicity 2k10 —- Unleash the Beast Within

3. Felicity 2k10 —- Beyond Taglines

4. Felicity 2k10 —- Was there supposed to be a tagline here ?

Several other titles ( far more humorous) were proposed however, I cannot put them up here as some people might find them highly offensive (they were a little on the pervert side, if u know what I mean) although we had no such intention while composing them :P. Perhaps the jewel in the crown was the three-phase tagline proposed by Chandra. I doubt if anything else that came up then could beat that. For all those not present there, pity you cannot be the judge of that.

Anyways, the second day of the meeting saw us go from perverseness to downright dirty in the beginning but after all the fun and frolic, in the last these two contenders were left for the ultimate prize —-

1. Felicity 2k10 —- Euphony of Euphoria

2. Felicity 2k10 —- Joie de Vivre !!!

Everyone unanimously favoured the second one …….. not only does it give an impression  of  sophistication when pronounced but I guess its meaning sums up what Felicity stand for in just 3 words. It is a term sometimes imported into English to express a cheerful enjoyment of life; an exultation of spirit.

Thing are still under consideration ……….. I personally hope that this will be the official tag line for Felicity this year.

What are your thoughts on the above tag lines ? Do let me know.

Of Tigers and Kingmakers

Well the rather odd title to this post reflects the many thoughts that cross my mind right now, thoughts that I wish to share and discuss for I cannot quiet decide whether the way I am perceiving things in each case is correct or not. So without ant further dilly-dallying lets get down to the point .

Lets go in the reverse order ….. the kingmakers. As many of you might have guessed, I am talking about the recent Lok Sabha polls that saw the rise of the Grand Old Party of the nation as the single largest party. These elections were revolutionary in many ways — I will be brief as you have probably read heaps about all this in the newspapers and magazines. For one the people daringly and boldly chose good governance over casteism and narrow parochial policies. The Lalu-Paswan-Mulayam jodi to cash in on dalit, Muslim and Yadav votes so that they could demand a lion’s share in the future government fell flat on its face. The Left Front’s narrow minded and obsolete stand on labour and banking sector reforms as well as the Indo-US nuclear deal have reduced it to a Left Out Front by the people even in its  bastion states of West Bengal and Kerela. The statue happy chief minister of UP too took a drubbing from the people she claims to represent and is so appalled and bewildered by her loss that she has fired all the state representatives of her party, notwithstanding the fact that in her hurry to project herself as the prime ministerial candidate of the third front she cut herself off from her own people who worshipped her like a goddess, which caused her to fall from the pedestral. And so all the supposed kingmakers were shown their right place by the people. The people also voted for stability —– giving Congress a huge mandate by standards of coalition politics, perhaps hoping that with less parties pushing for their vested interests at the Center, the Congress will be able to take some bold decisions that it could not the last time it came to power. But already the party seems intent on breaking the people’s hopes and expectations. I was watching the swearing in ceremony of the new cabinet a few days back and was shocked to see that of the nearly 200 candidates of the party elected directly by the people, the Congress considered only 5 able enough to run a ministry as all the other ministers were form the Rajya Sabha. What kept the Congress back from giving out ministries to a young and vibrant brigade blooming under the leadership of Rahul Gandhi ? Perhaps Rahul Gandhi himself ? Rahul Gandhi was ‘the’ youth icon in this election and his charismatic and markedly distinct style of campaign helped breathe a new life into the party especially in UP, something that has stunned all political analysts. It was widely hoped after the elections that he and other young MPs like Sachin Pilot would be given berth in the cabinet and that they will bring out new policies and innovations into the political culture of the country. But the Congress seems to be afraid of giving youth a chance. Why ? Rahul Gandhi says he does not want to take up any position in the government and wishes to strengthen the organisation within. But in doing so he forgets that when people like him step away, people like Arjun Singh and Shibu Soren step in and we all know what happens when these people become ministers …….. reservation bells ringing again. The Congress was very lucky to have won a mandate in 2009 what with the inflation reaching a historic high under its previous government and reservations in education being a major bone of contention between the student community and the party as well as the Mumbai terror attacks, Delhi and Ahmedabad serial blasts. It should use this second chance to show the people that it is not afraid to take a tough stand when it comes to protecting the interests of the people. Instead it is once again trying to follow the beaten path of having an experienced (old-aged) cabinet of ministers and playing it safe by appeasing coalition partners, giving in to their irrational whims and cravings of power and position.  The Congress seems to be lacking courage.

Now the tigers ………. yupp the LTTE. The Sri Lankan government has (in one of my favourite phrases) not only defeated the LTTE but has completely annihilated it. A thorn in the side for  Sri Lanka for about 3 decades was wiped clean by the armed forces in just about 4-5 months when the army got down to the job. It took just one Prime Minister to stand up to the LTTE and the terrorist group came crashing down. The LTTE was a despotic organisation that while claiming to be the sole representatives of Sri Lankan tamils ruled with an iron hand and any dissenter met with a swift end. India has a lot to learn from this precedent. We have no dearth of our own LTTEs, what with the naxalites in the east as well as the southern states of Orissa and AP and the Pakistani terrorists in the north and the west. I do not think any thing needs to be siad about these perpetrators of violence and fear in the country. Its is shocking that even in 6 decades of independence, not one Prime Minister had the courage to order the armed forces to wipe pot these menace from their roots. They have no way to overcome the Indain armed forces even if the army were to use say even 10-15% of its total might. Wiping out these insects is not more than a few weeks job but vote bank compulsions and fear of what the international community will have to say have made our politicians mere chickens. And when these ministers come to express their sorrow on the death of innocent people at the hands of these terror organisations, the whole thing seems a mockery of human life. India, I am sorry to say, lacks courage.  With such a sorry state of affairs within the country, there is no way we can ever hope that India can ever bring down the edifice of cross-border terrorism. I am not saying that war is always the only solution to terrorism but one must realise that in case of India with several terror organisations plaguing us, war IS the only solution. Every one knows that but everyone is afraid to agree. Of course it will not be easy and not pretty but then neither is people dying going to office in a local trains, eating gol-gappas on the street or worshipping in the temple.Yes, India lacks courage.

That has been the recurring theme in both the issues I have raised above …. courage. What is it ? As Dumbledore once remarked , the ability to choose between what is right and what is easy, yes that ……… exactly that. The question is —- why are we losing this ability more and more every day ? And what will it take for us to get that courage back ?

P.S. ——— As a blogger, this entry is a stark departure from my previous entries, which were all more or less personal. I am very anxious as to what you, the reader, think about it. So please do comment on what you feel about the above issues. And you do not necessarily have to be all sugar and honey. I would welcome a healthy debate anytime :).

Reflections —- One Year Later

Hi all

Shit this is not how I was supposed to start ………………… 😦 darn it ever since I became CR I have been so much into sending mails at the end of virtually every hour that this is how I start any of my written correspondences. As a souvenir to this irritating trait of mine I shall not edit the opening of this one .

After one long year , in the words of Sylar “I am back”, though not with any kind of malevolent plans to inflict pain on the world but rather to “get back into the loop” so as to speak.  Many of you might wonder ( or maybe not, after all my blog entries are not Harry potter stories that people wait for with frenzied anticipation 😛 ) why I have been dormant for the last 1 year. To tell the truth so much was happening to me at that point in time, so many awful and rapidly changing things one after the other that I was simply overwhlemed and felt lost in life. I had simply lost my confidence as I was trying to emulate the wrong people and pursuing the wrong values in life with no sense of self- enlightenment. When I look at myself back then and now, I am downright appalled and embarassed as to what kind of a scumbag I had reduced myself to.

I had taken up Electronics and Communication Engineering in IIIT, without thinking for a moment that I had never been able to make my peace with Physics during the entire +1 and +2, the basic foundation of all electronics. Consequently all EC subjects in the first year were hell for me …………….  barely managed to scrape a D in Electronics Circuits as well as Electrical Science in the second semester. So as the first year of college came to an end and we were going home on a 4 month vacation, I suddenly started thinking what the hell I was doing in IIIT ? I did not like what I was going to study for the next three years and which would form the basis of the work that I was going to do further in my life. Believe me studying something you don’t enjoy tortures you to limits you just can’t imagine. It clouds your thoughts with self doubt and a sense of worthlessness, my self-confidence began to lower each passing day and suddenly being in IIIT felt like being in a prison, something I never thought would happen.  They say “vinash kalya vipreet budhi” exactly what happened to me as I did not even apply for a branch change at the end of first year. Maybe things would have worked out quiet differently had I done so. I shall always repent this decision of mine.

I started wondering whether I had opened the floodgates for my own personal hell the day i decided to opt for non-medical without seeing where my own interest lay, but blindly following the road “more travelled by”.   And even now I feel strongly that this is indeed the case.

As you might know from my previous entry, I was also down with a serious leg injury about an year back that could have resulted in me coming under the doctor’s knife. Being on bed rest for one week when the whole college was immersed in the Felicity also upset me alot ………… being alone in the room for hours when people outside were dancing and roaming about having fun ……

Well as they say time is the greatest healer and I am no exception ……… with time I got over my low self-confidence. Whats done was done and it was now time for damage control. I am on it. I still see a blank in front of me when I think of what I will do after my B.Tech ends …………… I still have doubts and I still hate Electronics, but I battle in the hope that my struggle with the very thing I hate will help me find my true calling someday. Exactly how even I do not know but I have faith ( and a blind one at that ) …….  A lot has happened in the past semester that I would have loved to share on this blog.   But its all in the past now …………… its time to let bygones be bygones and turn over a new leaf.  I just hope I am able to survive these 3 years here ……… and some fine day out of the blue God lets me know what to do ahead in life.

With this “returning” blog entry I once again enter the blogging world actively. This one had to be  sad and emotional for I felt like sharing the reason for my long absence and my feelings during that time. But keep coming back regularly for more interesting articles ………..

Cheers                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Aditya  Sood

Shit i wasn’t supposed to end it this way either   ….. its not Students mail !!!!!   :O

Bed Ridden

Its been 5 days since I am on bed rest and God am I frustrated. I really feel like getting up and running around the campus but man if i do that , I might have to stay down for an even longer time.

It was like any other day when I, Rahul and Beri were sitting in D-7  whiling away our time, fretting over the mid sem 2 syllabus and uttering loud curses for our profs, the politest of them being “harami”, “sala” and “be***c***” (believe me its polite after u’ve listened to all the stuff we have in store for them). I had just seen the Royal Rumble few hours back and was all fired up. Consequently, called Beri to a one-on-one match. And when he had me locked in a choke hold, I tried to overpower him but the 2 joined beds (thr ring) split apart and I went straight down, my right knee ramming into solid steel of the bed.

Sitting in the doctor’s cabin next day, I was told that I had developed a blood clot in my knee which would take 3 weeks to recover and was put on an 8 day bed rest, advised to walk very little after that using knee braces.

So I am convalescing since the past 5 days now without even a bath (yes even I feel “yuck” now , so i wouldn’t mind your saying the same).Its really difficult to pass time when all alone in the room in one position, unable even to shift even in the bed for 3-4 hours. I really get depressed at times, although it seems stupid later. Even the laptop seems boring after an hour or two.

Rahul , Beri and Pulkit have been helping me a lot like filling the water bottle (” tu ruk saale main toilet hi jaa raha tha”), getting my food from the mess to the room (“oye last time main laya tha sachdev aaj teri baari hai”), getting my clothes, medicines etc from my room (“poora ghar basayga kya yaha par?”). Sachdev has already warned me that once I fully recover, I shall have to stay in D-7 for 10 more days and “repay” all the chores that he and Beri have done for me. Indeed, when I ask for too many things at the same time he and Beri seriously contemplate breaking my other knee too. I wouldn’t put it past them either.

This accident couldn’t have happened at a worse time. I have had to miss the annual festival of NIFT (imagine that, when IIIT is already facing a shortage of “goog-looking” girls!!!). And our own fest “FELICITY” is just 3 days away. I will have to miss that too. I really feel sad about it.

There are some things weighing down upon my mind tonight, although I can’t share them here. So I will have to go now as I need to think about them a lot…………. I’m not sleeping tonight.

Bleak Prospects (CG and PT)

Yells of — “Oye aakhri bacha hai!! Group mein chalo, group mein!!!” from Ankur – u got it, Counter Strike is in full flow. “Tackle maar saale!! kutte, *****………” is the traditional way conversation takes place between two players of FIFA. Quarell and bickering – well that is what happens if there are 3 people to share 1 PC damn it!!! Constant requests of “yaar mera question upload kar de!!!” and the extravagant shower of praises like – “tu bond hai yaar” and “teri dassi to pakki hai boss” is common to our toppers as long as they stay here. And of course not to forget the several different songs thumping away on several different mobiles. And I would jump off the hostel roof if there aren’t at least 7 movies playing on the computers.

Welcome to the UG1 workspace at IIIT Hyderabad!!! Yes you bet it is fun man. Its the most rocking place in our college. You must be thinking what i am doing here. Well, truth be told I really wasn’t feeling like doing anything (That is the state i am in 25 days of the month. The rest 5 days are either assignment deadlines or exams that bring me out of my torpor.) and suddenly while surfing the net (don’t u dare call it an activity!!) I came across this blogspot and got interested. So here I am writing my first ever web post.

Its been almost 4 months since i came here in mid-July. These months have really passed me in a haze of assignment deadlines, late night movies on the laptops of my seniors, (not to forget the late night practices for the freshers party and the D-Day itself!!), catching up with my sleep on the last benches of classroom, last minute exam preparations, bunking classes and periodic fretting over CGP with Harshit (“abe next sem se pacca ache se padhai karenge. Is baar masti over ho gai”). Phew!!! give me a breather man.. But truly i haven’t enjoyed life over 18 years as i have ever since i came here .

My second semester started a week ago and as for all the promises I made to myself about studying from the first day….. well they are down the drain. I have seen at least 7 movies in 3 days last week ( and of course at the expense of classes) but what can i do when the seniors are so generous in giving away their laptops to us. Physics marks came out today and i managed to score a paltry 55. So a B- grade. “Well, what is the problem?” u ask? My attendence in Physics classes is well below the 85% mark, so i lose a grade and am down to a C. But then, considering that i did not even know the meaning of “Quantum” upto 24 hours before the exam, 40 on 100 is no small feat yaar. And in any case, I have always hated Physics and the way it is taught here makes u want to pull at your hair and shout for mercy to Prof. Harjinder. (Sir if u are reading this, it is just a joke!!) Can’t make out what Prof. Kannan is teaching in class. One has to wonder whether he is teaching us or revising Data Structures for himself. U raelly feel he is reciting some secret mantra or a sacred chant from some Hindu Scripture – it is simply inarticulate sounds that reach your ears no matter where u sit.

I guess Rini sums it all in her Orkut profile – “Oui, mon ami …. cest la vi” (well my friends, life is like that).The crux of the matter is that conditions are pretty much the same as they were in the first semester but i have to try to improve my grades yaar!! They are too low. I have the relief of not having to study English this semester and no ITWS. EWS starts in Jan. so i get a lot of free time up till then!! But i guess all of that will go in reading novels rather than textbooks (lolz) The most daunting task that lies ahead for me this semester is PT (yes u read it right not CG but PT) I have to compelete 1 credit in this semester n that means 40 days of getting up early in the morning ( God give me the strength) Well it is 00:00 so time to sleep (ah!! have to sacrifice my bc time for getting up at 6:00 in the morning). See u later

Sleepless Nights!!!

No I am not a chronic insomniac. No, I have no bank loans to repay. No, I am not on run from the law. And NO (A big one) I am not the classic “my-girlfriend-just-ditched-me” case. Yet I do not sleep in the night. Why?? Because I am an IIITian. The statement speaks volumes as to why I am having to spend sleepless nights since the past 3 days. I am (as usual) caught up in a whirlwind of Assignments on topics I haven’t yet managed to study (was sleeping in class 🙂 ). My midsems are starting on 19 December n just 3 days before that I have a DS Assignment on my head! I mean the TAs do not even consider the fact that we have to study (and PASS) other subjects as well!! Here I am in D-7 OBH-EB with a senior’s laptop trying to study something for the exams and well, there is no paucity of matter for I do not know any subject. So at 11 in the night its me, Harshit, Rahul and Pulkit – each one planning to study the whole night and then catch up with our sleep in the lectures (We all agree that we are lagging so much that trying to pay attention in the class now would be blatant foolishness).

The night starts with each of us picking up a book or a notes copy and getting down to work. Typically 10 minutes into the exercise and Pulkit can’t bear the deadly serious environment. So he starts looking for someone to annoy and Harshit is the easiest target. Slowly he gets onto everyone’s nerve and is forced to listen to long sermons from all three of us (His job done, he opens gtalk and goes busy chatting or perhaps orkutting). Now that the rest of us are distracted, we are joined by two guests of honour – Sathya and Arjun(Beri bechara — its a long story but i promise to discuss it some other day and i swear its a must read).Then ensues a long round of BC, songs on Rahul’s MP4 player and games on his portable video game. At around 3, Beri and Rahul retire for the day (can’t say night) and I somehow pass my time till 6 in the morning when it is time for my yoga class (see last post). And yet after three days i believe we are still on sqaure one as we have not yet submitted a single Assignment question (only 3 days left!!) and we do not know a word of ES, the first paper. But still its a fun experience and i guess we will continue till the exams are over.

Its 6 am now so i have to leave!! See you later. I have a lot more to share.

P.S. 1-I know it sounds strange, but — Pulkit is studying!!! Guess he is finally aware of our dreary state of preparations for the exams. I wouldn’t disturb him. Its not a sight u see often. And it does not hurt anyone to give the devil his bit of the rest!!!

P.S. 2-If he reads this, he’ll be back to normal (read abnormal) today night. Pray he does not. Sometimes change is welcome!!

P.S. 3- What is P.S.??? Do post me in the comments if u do. I never did gather the courage to ask my English teacher.